communication department

Former Secretary of State Colin Powell says, "Good leaders sometimes make people unhappy." Good leadership involves a responsibility to the welfare of the group. If you make choices based on popularity, you will avoid making tough decisions. You might even avoid confrontation and, as a result, deserving people may not be rewarded for their accomplishments. Sometimes leaders have to draw a line in the sand and take a stand.

Truths about Conflict

Leaders must deal promptly with conflict in a group and accept the responsibility for providing resolution. To handle conflict successfully, we must consider several important factors:

Conflict is natural. Although most people like to avoid it, conflict is a natural result when people with diverse personalities work together. There will always be times when members of a group disagree. But by working together, people learn that any vibrant, successful group experiences conflict, disagreement, and promotion of disparate ideas.

Conflict is resolved through openness. Since conflict is considered natural in a group, it should be managed in a natural way: through open discussion. Open discussion helps resolve issues before they create even greater problems.

Conflict occurs over issues, not over personalities. People may become parties to conflict, but people are not its cause. Team members must learn that the issues-and perceptions of those issues-are the cause.

Conflict allows us to search for alternatives. Don't spend valuable time trying to place blame. Instead, discuss what you would prefer as an alternative. An effective discussion about resolving the conflict focuses on what is being said right now-in this setting-not the past.

Conflict is a group issue. Disagreements between individuals in a group become issues for the entire group to deal with, because they can affect the work of the entire team. Team members, therefore, don't always have to resolve differences on their own. The whole team pitches in to help.

Responding to Criticism

One of the most common impediments to communicating freely in a group is the defensive behavior of people whose ideas and suggestions are being evaluated and, perhaps, criticized. Self-protective responses are common among people whose ideas are challenged. You can train yourself to deal constructively with resistance and disagreement. Try the following suggestions to help you deal with opposition to your ideas:

Relax. Sit back in your chair and keep your facial expression attentive. Don't frown or shake your head. When you look relaxed-even though you may not be inside-you look confident and invite people to discuss your idea openly.

Listen. Maintain eye contact to show that you value what is being said. Remain seated, leaning back in your chair. Don't interrupt while others are talking unless it is quite clear that they have misconstrued your idea.

Accept. You don't have to agree with whatever criticism is leveled at your idea, but you'd better accept that the people leveling it take their criticism seriously. You want to be careful not to say anything that could be construed as ridicule. If you blurt out, "That's ridiculous," the fight may be on. Be aware of what you may be communicating through posture, facial expression, and other nonverbal cues. When you have an expression on your face that could be interpreted as "What nonsense," you are not influencing people in your favor.

Make it a group issue. If you refrain from defending your idea, you may be pleasantly surprised to hear someone else take up the defense instead. That person may have more credibility and influence than you in this situation because he or she is nonpartisan. But if no one else responds immediately, just sit quietly. You don't always have to speak up just because other members want to address you on the idea, unless they ask you questions that only you can answer. When you receive comments that are too narrowly focused, you can make the discussion a group issue by saying, "I've heard extensively how Jane and Howard feel about my idea, but I'd find it valuable to hear how others look at it too."

Answer. If the group discussion still leaves something missing or to be desired, you may want to respond to some of the disagreement. When you do, address the group, not your critic. Remember, you've made it a group issue now. Don't take it back.

Use Your Team

The chief advantage of using your team to resolve conflict and make decisions is that you bring different resources together to interact and develop more options. There is no question that the synergy in an effective team produces more than the sum of its parts.

Editor's note: This article was originally published in Leadership Tips, an e-mail bulletin formerly sent to STC leaders by the STC Leadership Tips Committee. It appears here with changes. We have chosen to republish this article because of its applicability to today's STC leaders.